Friday, November 12, 2010

Whiz Easy Fail – pStyle Rules

After complaining to some friends about my chronic challenges urinating successfully with the Whiz Easy, Judy the Bear Whisperer recommended trying the pStyle from Krista’s Cups. She was training herself – starting with the shower (why didn’t I think of that!?) – and was having success so far.

Could it be that simple? Could it be that it’s not ME at fault, but it’s actually a gear problem? Let’s find out, shall we? Of course, I ordered the purple one.

I know better this time (yes, yes I can learn) – no first time in the pub for me. Into the bathroom. Kick the rug out of the way. Replacement clothing is a short walk down the hallway, so optimistically I pull the pants (etc) only far enough down as necessary to get the device in place. The pStyle looks like it will require considerably less exposure than the Whiz Easy – that looks promising!

Device in place, I stand. I relax. I relax some more. I push a little. I squeeze out a few drops. Hmmmmmm… this isn’t going as planned, and my bladder is still uncomfortably full. Toss the device aside and assume the traditional “sitting” position to finish the job – I’d only managed about a 25% elimination.

Second try, device in place, I stand. I relax. I relax some more. I push a little. I squeeze out a few drops. I consider that perhaps I have the device placed a little too firmly against something and am blocking off production, so I back the pressure off slightly. Aha – slightly more success. Back the pressure off even more. Absolutely zero leakage, and 100% elimination. Stellar.

I consider that I may now know what it feels like for a man with an enlarged prostate. Poor suckers – that must be really torturous. Too bad it’s not as simple as just backing off on their own pStyle.

I have a couple more slow starts, but I soon learn to back off on the pressure and after several successes with no failures, it is time to go camping. Brent and I head out on a Friday night to Pigeon Lake near Edmonton for the weekend. It’s a perfect opportunity to try out the pStyle “in the real world” (but still not quite the backcountry).

After my “Yay I’m Camping” beer, it is growing quite dark and I’m ready to give the pStyle its maiden outdoor voyage. I contemplate the wisdom (or lack thereof) of trying it out, in the dark, with a beer in me. Ha! What could possibly go wrong… right? I wander away from our camping companions and the light of our fire and stumble around in some light brush trying to find a decent amount of privacy.

Finally I find a suitable spot (a time in the summer with leaves on the trees may have been more conducive) and pull out my new gear. Being a little paranoid, I start out a little too firm on the pressure, but I soon relax, back off the pressure, and have my first-ever, completely successful standing pee in the woods.

I am now completely converted and I will bring the pStyle with me whenever I am recreating outdoors. The major benefit, I find, is that, as advertised, you can “squeegee” any excess drops off of yourself, completely eliminating the need to carry t.p. along (or live with the consequences of NOT having t.p. for the pop-and-squat).

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Return of the Whiz Easy

Don’t anyone say I can’t learn, or be taught. After leaving it to sulk in the top corner of my gear closet for close to a year, I retrieved the Whiz Easy with intentions of trying again with the cursed thing. Brent and I are planning on cycling in Australia in March, and perhaps it would be a handy thing to have along… maybe for other trips too.

I set it on the back of the toilet, in all its purple glory, where it glowered at me for a week or so. Baby steps. Whiz Easy and I will take baby steps.

Remembering the hard-learned lessons from my earlier attempts, I first tried again with the bathroom rug, and my clothing, safely stashed out of harm’s way. As before, my body really resisted “release” in a standing position, but once I got it going, the attempt was a tremendous success. If you can really count “all urine finding its way into the toilet” as a tremendous success at age 43.

I think that my biggest challenge is going to be getting over that bodily resistance to peeing while standing, and the way to get beyond that is just practice, practice, practice.

So, practice I do, and although my body is getting more cooperative, the most frustrating thing so far is that I can’t achieve consistency. Most times, peeing through my purple friend is a success. Occasionally, and for no reason that I can ascertain, things go horribly awry with the Whiz Easy leaking from the back, making an embarrassing mess of my clothing (which I’ve graduated, now, to leaving in place). I make mental notes each time to be careful and make sure the device is in the exact right place, and pressed with a sufficient amount of pressure against my body. Still, I can’t seem to get it consistently right.

My goal, which I think is quite reasonable (and sane), is to achieve 100% consistent success… in the bathroom at home… before venturing on to using it in places where it matters – a whole LOT more – that the procedure be a success. I think kicking my pants (etc) to the corner, while out in the woods, is a lot less feasible.

I have to wonder, though... what's so different about me compared to my friends, several of whom have reported immediate and glorious success with this, and that similar device, She Wee? I'm a little cheesed that I seem to be the only one who requires remedial pee training.