Saturday, October 16, 2010

Return of the Whiz Easy

Don’t anyone say I can’t learn, or be taught. After leaving it to sulk in the top corner of my gear closet for close to a year, I retrieved the Whiz Easy with intentions of trying again with the cursed thing. Brent and I are planning on cycling in Australia in March, and perhaps it would be a handy thing to have along… maybe for other trips too.

I set it on the back of the toilet, in all its purple glory, where it glowered at me for a week or so. Baby steps. Whiz Easy and I will take baby steps.

Remembering the hard-learned lessons from my earlier attempts, I first tried again with the bathroom rug, and my clothing, safely stashed out of harm’s way. As before, my body really resisted “release” in a standing position, but once I got it going, the attempt was a tremendous success. If you can really count “all urine finding its way into the toilet” as a tremendous success at age 43.

I think that my biggest challenge is going to be getting over that bodily resistance to peeing while standing, and the way to get beyond that is just practice, practice, practice.

So, practice I do, and although my body is getting more cooperative, the most frustrating thing so far is that I can’t achieve consistency. Most times, peeing through my purple friend is a success. Occasionally, and for no reason that I can ascertain, things go horribly awry with the Whiz Easy leaking from the back, making an embarrassing mess of my clothing (which I’ve graduated, now, to leaving in place). I make mental notes each time to be careful and make sure the device is in the exact right place, and pressed with a sufficient amount of pressure against my body. Still, I can’t seem to get it consistently right.

My goal, which I think is quite reasonable (and sane), is to achieve 100% consistent success… in the bathroom at home… before venturing on to using it in places where it matters – a whole LOT more – that the procedure be a success. I think kicking my pants (etc) to the corner, while out in the woods, is a lot less feasible.

I have to wonder, though... what's so different about me compared to my friends, several of whom have reported immediate and glorious success with this, and that similar device, She Wee? I'm a little cheesed that I seem to be the only one who requires remedial pee training.